My Immortal
by Wing'dCallisto
Summary: [Songfic] Tidus' Point of View at the end of the game. After Sin. Before he leaves Yuna forever.


My Immortal  
  
by Wing'dCallisto  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFX. Square does. But I love Tidus. And I don't own Evanescence. They own themselves. And I didn't write the lyrics for My Immortal, although I wish I had.   
  
Author's Note: Another ficlet for you all. ^^; It's been awhile since I did anything remotely FFX  
  
related (aside from the odd website layout ¬¬) and I decided to do this. Since there  
  
aren't many fics based around Tidus' POV at the end of the game, I figured t'would  
  
be a nice thing to do. The song used is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence, who are the  
  
best band in the world. You should read this fic whilst listening to that song or the  
  
ending theme, whatever.   
  
Summary: Tidus' Point of View at the end of the game. After Sin. Before he leaves Yuna forever.  
  
--------------------------**  
  
[I'm so tired of being here  
  
Supressed by all of my childish fears  
  
...And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
Because your presence still lingers here]  
  
It took awhile before I could admit it to myself. From the first moment I'd laid eyes  
  
on her, I've loved her. Absolutely. Completely. Without any strings attatched, without  
  
any 'ifs' or 'buts'. From our first words on that clear Besaid night, to our last  
  
goodbye, the last sunset we'd spend together, standing atop the airship with cold air  
  
whipping at our clothes. I'd loved her. All I ever wanted to do was be with her.   
  
But our relationship is a no win situation. Let's face it. Yuna would have died if  
  
she'd summoned the final aeon. To watch her die, her life slowly disappear from her,  
  
would have been the most painful thing I could have done to myself. I would rather  
  
have given my own life than let that happen to her.  
  
We're standing on the airship, fresh from defeating Sin. And as I watch my hands  
  
shimmer and fade, I know my time is up. I don't know what will happen to me,  
  
and, well, I don't care. Before I'd met Yuna, I'd been nothing.   
  
Together, we stand, and I watch my hands. I hold them up in front of  
  
my face, trying to ignore the lump in my throat. My hands become transparent, if  
  
only for a brief moment. I know, as I look up at her, that she's seen me. I know,  
  
as I see the recognition in her eyes, that she wants one more moment. Just one.  
  
But it's too late, and that 'one' moment-- it is gone forever.  
  
[And it won't leave me alone...]  
  
'Yuna,' I murmur, trying to keep my voice calm. 'I... I have to go.'  
  
She doesn't answer me. Rather, she looks at me with that soft gaze of hers. She  
  
looks so small and fragile, standing there. The sky looks like it would swallow her  
  
up and dissolve her. I saw regret, anguish and a kind of wild pain in her eyes. She  
  
knows the sacrifices I've made for her. And she wishes I hadn't done it.   
  
We are the same, you know. Both of us don't want to say goodbye. But it has to be  
  
one of us.  
  
'I'm sorry I couldn't take you to Zanarkand.'  
  
[These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real   
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase]  
  
Her fists are balled, her shoulders are hunched. It is an uncharacteristic gesture,  
  
something I've never seen her do. This raw emotion is almost too much for me to  
  
bear, and I feel the warmth of tears gather in the corner of my eyes. I begin to walk  
  
forward, towards the edge of the airship. I pass her. She lets out a sob.  
  
'We're gonna see you again?' I hear Rikku call, but I do not answer. I turn to look  
  
back, one last glance and Yuna was running towards me, arms and fingers  
  
outstretched as far as they'd go. I open my arms and she runs into them. I hold her  
  
for the merest fraction of a second, then she falls through me. I hear her body hit the  
  
harsh, cold metal. I hear her cry out in pain.   
  
[When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me]  
  
I'm surrounded by pyreflies. They're singing. With Spira. Below me I hear thousands  
  
of people joining together to sing the hymn. I hum along with it, absentmindedly, as I   
  
look forwards, past Yuna's body, to the edge of the airship. I know what I have to do.   
  
But I turn and gaze intently at Yuna, who slowly picks herself up. She did not face  
  
me. She looks at a point in the distance for a long, silent moment. I turn away, then  
  
hear her whisper.  
  
'I love you.'  
  
Her back is straight and her hands are unclenched. She looks so utterly at peace with  
  
the world, and it makes me cry. Her words-- it's like she whispered them on the edge  
  
of a crowded room and they somehow reached me, and nobody else heard, nobody  
  
else understood the depth of what she said.   
  
[You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating light  
  
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me]  
  
I wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her hair. I could cry now, without  
  
worrying about what anyone thought. Jecht was gone, my past life fully erased. I  
  
couldn't imagine being without her. Without her quiet, polite voice, her hand that  
  
fitted so perfectly in mine, her smile, her eyes. I miss her before I've even left.  
  
[These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just so much that time cannot erase]  
  
I run. I jump. I'm falling through the air.   
  
[When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you will still have all of me]  
  
***  
  
I hear someone whistling for me. The sound rouses me out of my slumber, dreamless  
  
and dark. I shake my head and uncurl. I'm in the ocean, floating endlessly. The  
  
whistle repeats itself, slightly more desperate this time, and I glance towards the  
  
surface. Sunlight's filtering through, beckoning me. I smile.  
  
[I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
And though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along...] 


End file.
